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Chapter 25

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How to beat quiz machines

Soon after I had memorized 7,500 Trivial Pursuit questions, it occurred to me that there must be a way of learning the questions on quiz machines found in pubs and clubs. If there were, anyone with a trained memory could make themselves some pocket money.
I looked into the subject and discovered a small group of professional players who tour the country, earning serious amounts of cash. One person, who leaves the initials F.E.Y. on machines, has recently bought a £75,000 house with his earnings. Did he have an exceptional memory?
I decided to meet some of these people to compare notes. Their itinerant lifestyle, moving discreetly from pub to pub, had many similarities with my life as a blackjack card-counter. And we had all spent time committing a large number of trivial questions and answers to memory.
I was encouraged by what I heard. Although the financial rewards aren't as great as blackjack, there is a good living to be had for anyone who has the time and dedication. With a little research, a small investment, and a trained memory, I reckon it is possible to make £200 cash a day, tax-free, after a few weeks. Needless to say, there is nothing illegal about playing quiz machines professionally.

SKILL WITH PRIZES
Quiz machines are known in the trade as SWPS, which stands for 'Skill with Prizes'. Fruit machines are known as AWPS, 'Amusement with Prizes'. Under the current gaming laws, you are allowed to win a maximum of £6 in tokens (£4.80 cash) on an AWP. On an SWP, you can win up to £20 in cash, hence their attraction for professional players.
I have looked into the grey area of 'winning systems' for fruit machines. As far as I can tell, the only advantage to be had is knowing when a machine has recently paid out and satisfied its legal requirements. You can do this by checking the jackpot and bank displays. The recent celebrated case of two teenagers making their fortune on fruit machines owed more to an electronic, highly illegal device for notching up credits without putting in any money. These days, all fruit machines use sophisticated random-number generators that are impossible to predict.
The first quiz machine to appear in Britain was Quizmaster in 1985, closely followed by Give Us A Break in October 1986, and Barquest and Ten Quid Grid in 1987. For a while, they became a national obsession. A whole wave of new machines started to appear, many of them based on TV and radio quiz shows. A Question of Sport, Every Second Counts, Strike It Lucky, and Treble Top all became market leaders.
Most of them were paying out a top prize of £10. Each machine contained about 1,000 multiple-choice questions; there were three or four answers to choose from, and if you got it wrong, the correct answer was usually given.
The manufacturers were alarmed to discover that SWPS generated considerably less revenue than AWPS. On some sites, they were even losing money, particularly when the prize money went up to £20. It became apparent that they were being targeted by professional players - people who had learnt all the answers.
New editions were hastily brought out, each one containing around 1,000 questions. (At the last count, there were thirty-three editions of Give Us A Break!) The professionals learnt them as fast as they appeared. (It was a boom time for the firms that thought up the questions.)

RICH PICKINGS
Today, there are signs that SWP manufacturers have grown tired of trying to outwit the professional player. Machines have been introduced with 10,000 questions, but they have suffered a similar, if slower fate to the others. At the 1993 trade fair for the amusement arcade industry (ATE at Earl's Court in January), there was only one new quiz machine on display: Brainbox. It offers a maximum cash prize of £6 and boasts over 12,000 questions. (The questions are generated randomly, and a second data bank of questions can be accessed if too many questions are answered correctly.)
In a dignified retreat, SWP manufacturers have switched the emphasis from large cash prizes to entertainment. The public are given longer on the machine, but they can't win as much. And a new range of machines requiring a completely different set of skills is now coming on to the market. The Crystal Maze, a version of the Channel 4 cult TV game, is leading the way.
The implications of all this for professional players are bad in the long term. Manufacturers would clearly like to see the back of the old SWPS that offer £20. However, there is still a huge public demand for these machines (particularly Give Us A Break, Barquest, Adders and Ladders, Every Second Counts), and they continue to be installed in their hundreds around Britain's pubs. As these old favourites circulate, there will be rich pickings to be had for the experienced and aspiring player.

THE PROFESSIONALS
Any financial 'sting' requires an initial working capital. To date, most professional players get to know a machine by spending anything up to £250 playing it regularly and memorizing the answers. Simon, a player I met in Brighton (average earnings £400 a week, by no means full-time), wires himself up with a microphone before playing a new machine. Standing in front of it with a couple of friends, he says the answers out loud and transcribes the tape later. (This tactic isn't to be recommended if you are alone!)
However, there is an easier, more systematic way to commit the answers to memory. Every week, World's
Fair Publications publish Coin Slot International, a widely read trade paper in the amusement industry. The last half a dozen pages are packed full of advertisements listing second-hand machines for sale, including SWPS.
The paper is little known outside the trade, but it is essential reading for aspiring players. Here is a small selection of some of the SWPS and prices listed in 1993:
Give Us A Break
Snooker Quiz
Adders and Ladders
Barquest
Barquest II
Maze Master
Maze Master II
Every Second Counts
£150
£175
£145
£125
£150
£125
£125
£395
Instead of spending £250 in pubs and clubs, it seems more sensible to buy a second-hand machine from a dealer, play it in the comfort of your own home (the money box can be easily removed) and memorize the answers at leisure. The questions themselves vary quite a lot, but the principles that I outlined in Chapter 17 on Trivial Pursuit still apply.

Step 1: Choosing your Machine
Before buying a machine, spend a week going around as many pubs as you can in a chosen area. You will be surprised at how many pubs there are in Britain! (There are 186 in the Hastings area alone.) Find out which machine is the most popular. Freehouses and tenancies tend to hire the old games. Large, brewery-owned pubs are best avoided; they are supplied with the latest models and the landlords are more vigilant.
Once you have located approximately ten sites where the same machine (and edition) is installed, visit a few dealers, find an identical machine (and edition) and buy it. It might take a little reconnaissance to locate a sufficient number of machines, but it will be worth the effort. Simon plays three editions of his favourite machine in Brighton and three in Worthing.

Step 2: Memorizing the Answers
Once you have installed the machine at home, most of the work has been done. Multiple choice makes life much easier than learning Trivial Pursuit questions: if you can't remember the answer, at least you know that it's staring you in the face. There only has to be the faintest association for you to make the link. You should be able to memorize at least two questions a minute.
Remember: isolate a key word in the question and let it suggest a location. Then use an image suggested by the answer. It should be possible to memorize 5,000 questions in thirty-five hours. By my calculation, that's a slightly less than the average working week. And I haven't taken into account the answers that you already know.

Step 3: The Loop
It is important to be subtle as you move around your circuit of chosen pubs (often referred to as a loop). Don't take everything you can out of the first machine; the landlord might not let you in again. (Professional players make life difficult for landlords, who are often on a profit-share agreement with the machine suppliers.) Buy a drink before you play the machine and try to establish whether it has paid out recently. If someone is playing it, watch how much time they are being given to answer the questions. (Generally speaking, the more time the player has, the more money there is in the machine.)
Once you start to win, make sure it pays out in one thunderous go, preferably when the music is loud and just before you are about to leave. If it is continuously throwing money at you, someone might get suspicious.
You should be able to win between £30 and £50 from each machine before it handicaps itself. Move on the the next pub and don't return for a while. If a machine is being emptied regularly, the landlord might decide to send it back. Milk them slowly!

MORE THAN ONE LOOP
Pubs will swop their machines around after a while and you will have to decide whether to work a new patch or buy a new machine. There is a chance that you will be able to sell your old one back to the dealer or part exchange it. Don't bank on this! Even though there is a demand for SWPS, dealers won't necessarily take them back, and they certainly won't offer you the full price.
Before you buy your first machine, it's sometimes worth asking the dealer whether they will buy it back from you in a couple of months, but be careful not to arouse their suspicion.
If your initial foray into the world of quiz machines is successful, you should consider investing in more machines. You can then plan a number of loops and alternate between them. There are several advantages. Landlords are less likely to recognize your face if you show up once every month instead of daily. And your revenue will increase!

OTHER PLAYERS
There seems to be a certain amount of co-operation among players. Information is regularly traded about machines, editions, and their various idiosyncrasies (on Give Us A Break, edition 7, for example, there is no second chance at the first question). It's fairly easy to spot a professional, and it's always worth having a discreet chat with him or her.

HEALTH WARNING
It is very easy to get out of shape playing quiz machines. The smoky atmosphere of a pub and the constant temptation to drink are not conducive to a healthy lifestyle. Some people play better after one pint of beer. My own experience suggests that the brain performs best without any alcohol. The one thing you must watch out for, however, is the sort of landlord who might get difficult if you order tomato juices all night.

F.E.Y.
The legend of F.E.Y. lives on in pubs around Britain, even though the man himself has now retired from playing. Simon from Brighton first came across the initials F.E.Y. in 1990 in the Lake District, traditionally a happy hunting-ground for professional players. The pubs are small, the tourists provide good cover and the machines are always well stocked with money.
'It was the days when you could leave your initials on the machine if you got a high score,' says Simon. 'I was working in a team with three others. Wherever we went, we found his initials at the top of the all-time highest scores.'
One day Simon walked into a pub in Beverley, Humberside, and to his amazement he saw the initial F.E.Y. at the top of the highest score of the day. He looked around, wondering whether, after two years, he had finally caught up with this legendary player.
'I sat in the corner having a pint and waited to see if anyone would play the machine. After twenty minutes, a man came forward and started to play. I knew immediately it was him.'
Simon got chatting with F.E.Y. and compared notes. He was in his early thirties and was about to purchase his £75,000 house. Outside in the car park. F.E.Y. showed him his large van, which he lived in as he travelled the country. He was always on the move.
'It had a shower and I remember noticing all these bulging filofaxes stuffed full of routes, pub names, and questions. He was a graduate, quiet, and, like the best players, had a good general knowledge before he got into the game.'
There aren't many peoples like F.E.Y., and not many peoples will want to live his sort of life, but it shows what can be done with a trained memory.

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